Addams family

A few weeks ago, some friends came to my home for Halloween. If you don’t know what Halloween is, or if you want know what I think about it, go and read this post : http://charles-camarda.blogspot.com/2009/09/usual-suspect.html

Everybody would love opening their door to Nicole Kidman, Liv Tyler (if she doesn’t talk), Pink Floyd (perhaps I need a bigger apartment) or The Beatles (but you need to be God’s best friend)… and on this night, the best option arrived, better than these guys lumped together…….or not…… The Addams Family…. It sucked… Where were Nicole and Liv?

Almost all the family was in my house (my cat is still in hiding). Under their masks, or perhaps their masks were their true faces, some of my friends were here. All scientists, all with PhDs…. And I promise, knowing these guys are working for your health, for your future, for the good of the world is scarier than your worst nightmares…

Sometime evolution plays a good trick, and now, I know why scientists have this reputation for being a little weird and crazy.

The unconscious disease - Part II

This post is the second part of http://charles-camarda.blogspot.com/2010/10/unconscious-disease-part-i.html and once again, there is “adult content”, so people under 18 should read no further… and may I have a second lens for Christmas please Santa…

When I arrived my English was like a soft drink in a Scottish pub…nonexistent! Within the first few days of my arrival, I spent a weekend with a group of people. I didn’t know anybody, and when the clock struck noon, and our stomachs yelled “famished !!!” We went to the picnic table to have lunch. I think many people have stomachs that share something in common with Pavlov’s dog. At twelve o’clock, even if you were not hungry before, you suddenly are now. So I was in a middle of a big group of people, and because I am a well brought up young man (in appearance), I wished the girl next to me ‘’bon appetit”. I don’t know if it was my accent or that she didn’t know this phrase, but for one second her eyes became so big she looked like a surprised puffer-fish ! I tried to repeat the phrase with the artificial addition of an English accent, but it came out as ‘’booonnne appetiiite”. I got a double puffer fish look. Hiding in the shadows, like the devil ready to play trick, was another person who was watching us. He completely understood what I wanted to say, and apparently he has a PhD in puffer fish behavior. He looked at me and said “Dig in”. Politely, I repeated what I had heard to this girl, and “dig in” became “dick in”. I am sure she had no comprehension of French manners, but she understood the second sentence very clearly. The “devil” corrected the situation quickly by explaining my mistake… This story has a good ending, because nobody in the group was upset by my suggestion, and soon all became friends.

Photographing wildlife is one of my favorite activities. Just as many famous people are linked to a mythical animal, I also have my own personal obsession... One day I was talking to a friend and I said ‘’ My dream is to take pictures of a Harfeng” (I was in the habit of seeing puffer fish reaction). “A harfeng…? What is a Harfeng…” For once it was easy to explain what I meant and drive away this stupid fish.

- Did you see Arry Potter?

- See what ?

- Arry Potter

- A reporter ?

- Yes yes, Arry Potter’s white bird

- ……………….. a reporter’s whtite bird ? No.

- What ? Amazing you’ve never seen Arry Potter !

This is a perfect example of the “H disease”. And by the way a “harfeng” is a snow-owl and my friend never saw a white bird with a reporter, but did see “Harry Potter”. Of course with this terrible malady, when I said to another person ‘’I want to shoot a snow-owl’’ and it came out like ‘’I wHant to shoot a snow howl”, you could imagine the puffer-fish invasion…

So these are some of my mistakes in this country. I am sure many of my friends have more examples, but there are nice to me and say nothing, or perhaps they know, I don’t take pictures, I shoot……

The unconscious disease - Part I

Before reading this post please be aware, that it contains “Adult content”. So, if you are under 18 stop right here… I know thinking that the younger generation will stop reading here, is like believing in Santa Claus…. But just in case, I can only hope. And by the way if Santa Claus reads this may I have a new lens for Christmas…

A while ago I met the director of a scientific research lab. He saw my project about the ‘’human faces of science’’, and apparently, he liked it. After that he hired me to take pictures of the people in his lab. I decided to shoot these new portraits in a similar way to my original project. The director had liked how the scientists looked: not like scientists. So for this project you have escaped seeing a person shown full length, holding a frame, with his genitalia exposed…. The result is almost the same, without the genitalia, but with a big smile instead…

Now, you must say to you “what the point?”

If you don’t know French person or at least have never talked with one, you might not know a terrible malady he suffers from, “the H disease”. The French drop “H” when they should not and also… add it when they should not.

Do you want an example? I have a friend; everybody calls him Oliver, but not me. To me he is Holiver. When I want to go to eat, it’s because I am angry. Actually I am not in a bad mood, I am just hungry. If I don’t like you, I ate you…. So for my photo shoot, I asked my model, “show me your happiness.” But with the ‘’H disease’’, it came out as, “show me your penis”… My model knows this terrible disease, because he works with French people, and his face broke into a huge smile... I was delighted, “Yes like that, perfect….” I thought he had followed my direction and was showing me his happy face… Two days later, I was having dinner with one of my friends, and she told me about my mistake. Apparently the lab is still laughing, and I had avoided an embarrassing situation with a guy dropping his paint…

This is just the first of the list of my mistakes… I will tell many other misunderstanding due to my “H disease” in my next post.

The proposal

Spring and summer always come with longer and warmer days, beautiful bird song, butterflies and bees creating new flight-paths between roses and wild flowers, and all nature prays to the sun god… It‘s the quintessential bucolic spirit… Humans participate in this ‘’summer pastoral party’’, imitating the awakening rhythm of nature, by creating firstly… The Barbecue (could anything be further from nature than the barbecue but we do use it outside during the summer and it’s groovy) and secondly, the summer wedding.

I think for many people you have a wedding and “A Wedding”. I am not talking about money, food, or location (although the food, of course, could be the most important). The first type of wedding is when a distant (and not favorite) cousin gets married, and you can only remember him as an annoying brat whose foolishness often caused you to be punished. To avoid this type of wedding, you could volunteer to take care of your mother in law’s Yorkshire terrier with peeling skin, and unforgettable BO (the dog’s not your mother in law’s…. I hope...). The second type of wedding is the friends/sibling, wedding. A day that is almost as important for you as it is for them.

So for the second time this summer I was invited to a wedding. After the episode between Brazilian girl and Australian boy (read http://charles-camarda.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-best-friends-wedding.html if you have forgotten) comes Italian girl and San Salvador boy… The couple asked me to perform my favorite task for them (the first person, who thinks or says cooking, can go paddling to the rhythm of drums on a roman galley.)

Imagine the difficulties for their future child. Which soccer team to cheer? He/she will learn very quickly three languages (Italian, Spanish and English), but faster than this, the art of diplomacy.

You must know this, both of them are scientists. As a scientist I made an experiment; will the groom’s suit dissolve in water? Perhaps for you it’s insane but I am just a photographer and I wanted to know. So I asked the groom to take two pairs of trousers (in case)…. The result is: A very funny and unusual picture!

To finish, I just want to send all my good wishes to Silvia and Agustin…

Eternal sunshine of spotless mind

When I was a child, I was passionate about space, the planets, aliens, the moon (according to my mum I was always on the moon at this time). The sun had first place on my list of interest.

If you think it's because, without sun, no life is possible, a realization that came to me when I was three or four, I must thank you, because obviously you recognize me as a genius… But that’s not the reason. Perhaps, it’s because it's the biggest ''object'' in our universe ? negative... Because every day they are massive explosions on the sun ? Nope, I was not violent (remember I was on the moon). It's just cool ? no, no no and no........ I loved the sun, because the sun was the father of my first enemy, my first riddle, and my first curiosity..... my shadow !!!

If you want to keep the same image of me in your head, (smart, funny, smart, curious, smart, interesting, smart, sociable, did I say smart ? and very humble ?), I suggest that you stop reading, because it's really me and you don't need to know me any better. For the rest of you, I am sure our friendship will not have any future... Psychologists, please stop reading this ! I don't want to take a vacation in a loony bin...

So one day, I discovered my shadow ! It was very disturbing. Someone was following me all day. At the beginning I was very proud. I was sure it meant I was special. Then I realized all my family had one too, and all our friends, and every single person..... No I wasn't ''special''. It was a humongous disappointment. Angry, annoyed, dejected, almost furious, I decided to divorce my shadow. I started to walk, and she (yes I am sure she was a girl) followed me. I accelerated, she did the same. I ran, she ran too. Ok I must establish a stratagem... I would walk, and pay her no attention, and suddenly I would turn sharply and run and run. Two possible outcomes; first, she might not turn, but I didn't believe that; second, and it was a plan within a plan, the same beginning but just after turning, I would jump up high,, she would pass underneath me, and I would stop and run in the other direction. For me it was the perfect plan, and I tried it ! If you are going to ask me for the result, I think you are even crazier than I was...

After many hours of reflection, I discovered something very interesting. My shadow couldn’t see me inside another shadow. So, I hid inside the shadow of a big tree, and waited.... a loooooong time. I hoped my shadow would leave. That day I discovered a another thing: my shadow was more patient than me...

My rescue came with a slide. When I climbed up the steps, my shadow stayed on the ground... victory !!!!!! But just for the time when I was on the slide...

This is my first real memory. I was three, and I remember everything. The colors, the scents , the sun...and because of this, I want to share with you some pictures of sunsets and sunrises... the moment when shadows are born and die.

PS : I don't know why, but I have the feeling than I look less smart now...

Arlington Road

No comment...

Dr Frankenstein

It's very strange, many of my friends are scientists (perhaps they are interested in me because I could be the missing link.)

I notice, when one of my friends says to a new acquaintance : " I am a scientist", I see in the person's mind, a horror movie playing in black and white with a crazy, wild haired man in a white coat, or in the best case, ''Dr Frankenstein" from the Mel Brook's movie.

Many people can't imagine a scientist as a "normal person" (and sometimes it is true...), but behind the scientist (well-hidden) is a normal human being.

I have begun a project to capture the personality of the scientist. For me a scientist is a scientist because he is a human first, with passions, wide ranging interests, a sense of humour, tattoos and many other things like.... you.

To finish I want say thank you to my first guinea pig scientists, it has been fun and / or interesting (depending on your point of view) experimenting, I mean "working" with you.

A. Husbands, PhD in Biology

M. Faleiro MD/PhD Applicant

V. Aranda, PhD in Biochemistry

X. Rocca, PhD in Molecular Biology

A. Chicas, PhD in Cellular and Molecular Biology

My best friend's wedding

Question ? : when an australian marries a brasilian, where is the ceremony held ? The first who says "in the ocean" can go in with the sharks.... The correct answer is : North Carolina, Duke to be precise... Ok it's random...

For the second time, I went to this state. If you read my blog regularly, you can imagine how happy I was.... no comment...

Traveling by plane was impossible... I have too much equipment, and no stock options in American Airlines... I decided to choose "Charles Car Lines" for this journey (the pilot is nice and the cabin staff charming...) After a short drive ( 9 hours there-12 hours back), I met the future couple, and they were as happy to see me as I was to have stopped driving...

My objective for this trip was not to stop the wedding, but to photograph it. The bride doesn't look like Julia Roberts.... She looks better. I am not saying Julia Roberts could act in a horror movie without make up, ( I haven't seen her in the morning, but I am sure she looks great), no I am just saying that the bride looked better.

For a groom, imagine a tibetan monk with his zen aura of inner peace... or not ! Yes I think it's more ''or not''. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. To understand, you must know this, he asked me, when we were waiting for the bride, "Charles talk to me, it helps me to stay calm". Meaning, " your English and your accent are horrible, and I need to concentrate to understand you...'', ''I waze aapie to bi ov elpe''... He owes me big time, that was a moment...

Like all love stories, she said yes and he said.... yes too, but I am not sure because she said her vows in Serbian ( the Australian groom is originally from Serbia) and he said his vows in Portugese, so nobody understood anything... The vows could have been a shopping list, nobody would have known. All the guests and I assumed they said yes, and it's better like that.

Just to finish, I want say thank you to you both for inviting me and trusting me to be your photographer. I wish you a long life filled with happiness.